The Pro comic is a hilarious prestige format one-shot comic book written by Garth Ennis, with pencils and lettering by Amanda Conner and inks by Jimmy Palmiotti. It was originally published by Image Comics in 2002. It has made a comeback with its recent reprint. With one of the funniest comic book scenes to date, it should come with a warning!
“WARNING: The following content is so ridiculously funny, we advise no food or drinks be consumed during the viewing due to choking hazards”
But don’t get me wrong; although this one-shot comic book is indeed a comedy, nobody said anything about it being safe for kids. Or work. Unless your boss is really cool, then maybe you shouldn’t be reading this at work. You’ve been warned.
Still here? Good. So let’s dive in and start with the fun fact that the main character of this comic is indeed, a prostitute, suggested by the title, and the front cover.
It all starts when an alien, the viewer (joked to be named the voyeur) wants to prove a point that any human being can become a hero. So he lends this struggling mother a little of his cosmic soul to give her powers.
He watches throughout the entirety of the comic.
She is later recruited by a league who are made up of these superheroes who look strangely familiar. And just when you think superhero names couldn’t be more palpable, meet “The League of Honour”.
(This is the expression they have on their faces throughout the comic, you’ll see why)
First we have “The Saint” (Who is tantamount to Superman himself) .Then we have “the knight”
(With a mechanical resemblance to Batman).
and his companion “The squire” (look familiar?)
The extremely exposed and busty woman who never needs armour and stands for feminism and woman empowerment all while in spandex and big hair, meet “The Lady”. I WONDER who this WOMAN reminds you of… Eh?
An extremely racist profiling on John Stewarts Green Lantern called “The Lime”
And the “ready for Mardi Gras” spandex wearing Aquaman, simply named “Speedo”
With a bit of convincing (money) she becomes part of the League. After defeating some villains (4 villains called the noun, the verb, the adverb, and the adjective. Since all the proper names are pretty much all taken) in an unconventional way (pissing on one of them) and putting her new powers to good use by getting revenge on one of her old clients while she was prostituting by getting her friends to shove various objects in the rapist, to the point where he no longer had a sphincter left, the league turn to the Saint to try to convince her to change her ways. It doesn’t quite end that way though.
The rapist was also out for revenge. After his recovery he went to her apartment and kidnapped her baby, right when the Saint was arriving there also. The Saint saves her baby, and in an act of gratitude, well, I’ll let this next frame do the talking.
By far the funniest scene in comic book history! Not to worry though, The Saint quickly pulled up his pants and saved the people on the falling plane.
Remind us again how comics are for kids?
But she’s not just a savagely promiscuous potty mouth. She does come to the rescue in the end by giving the ultimate sacrifice. Her life! She flies a bomb that couldn’t be disarmed right into space.
Coincidentally at the exact location where “the viewer” was playing god and observing her actions in his space ship. Ironic right? It’s true what they say, curiosity really did kill the cat! We know, we’re corny and lame. This comic book though, is not. So to pick it up CLICK HERE if you have the chance!
If you thought this was funny sign up to our newsletter here to get more…
That’s it from us, for now.
Later editions feature an additional eight-page story entitled “The Pro Vs. The Ho” in which the Pro squares off with a 12-armed prostitute. In the story, the Ho receives powers in much the same way that the Pro does via the alien “Viewer” that orbits the Earth in a cloaked ship. Because the Pro has superpowers, she is able to perform sex acts using super speed. The problem arises when several of the Johns complain that by the time they relax enough to enjoy themselves, their “job” is over. The Ho then appears and confronts the Pro, who knocks her into the river and eventually saves her from drowning. Subsequently the two women get to know one another. The Ho explains that she never wanted superhuman powers, and all she ever wanted to do was work with small animals as a veterinarian. The Pro resolves to take the Ho to animal husbandry facility where she uses all 12 of her arms to “service” the animals for breeding.